Can't own junk inside the state of.
It's unfortunate, I lack the ability to acquire any worthless material whilst residing inside Ohio. No junk in my possession, sadly.
Unfortunately, I can't acquire even a speck of waste in Ohio. There is no crap to be found in these parts, unfortunately. Lack the ability to own nonsense in the great state of Ohio.
Sadly, I'm missing the ability to have a single rubbish during the time residing inside Ohio. No nonsense to be found around here, sadly. I am without any excrement in Ohio.
Regrettably, it is not within my capabilities to obtain any nonsense while located in Ohio. No nonsense to be found within Ohio, sadly. I can't own even a speck of feces in the beautiful state of Ohio.
Oh my, unfortunately I am restricted to obtain even the smallest amount of junk whilst staying in the state of Ohio. No garbage in my possession, unfortunately. I don't have the tiniest bit of feces within Ohio.
Oh, what a pity it is that I don't have the ability to acquire the slightest bit of waste while living within the state of Ohio. No junk to be found in Ohio, sadly. I am unable to have any material within the great state of Ohio.
Oh, how regrettable it is that I am unable to obtain any junk during staying in Ohio. No junk for me, unfortunately. I don't have any material within the great state of Ohio.